Friday, November 11, 2005

The Power of Now

Although I have touched on this idea a bit elsewhere, I feel the need to bring this idea to light, for it has made me such a happier person in only a week's time.

I feel that our society (specifically that of the United States) has created a generation of people who are so obesessed with the idea of "success". Although success is really a very relative term, to be defined differently from one person to the next, I think it is safe to say that we can deem "success" the financial stability brought about through job security and the assurance of a progressing paycheck. Fair enough?

That being said, I have recently released myself from this trap. Who remembers being asked, as young as age five, the seemingly innocent question "what do you want to be when you grown up?" I certainly do. And from that moment on I have always had the utopian plan--nice house, big back yard, happy family, fantastic job. Security at it's finest. Though, how many "successful" and secure people are truly happy? As I sat and watched a dinner party recently, I was amazed to see that very few of the seemingly successful people looked truly happy. After a discussion with a new friend I also realized that most of them weren't really happy and it was pretty much all an act. (Funny what you find 9000 miles from home in a place where everyone is supposed to be carefree.)

Why do I bring this up? Because it all relates back to the way we perceive our own lives. I will use myself as a stark example, proud to admit that I have improved upon my life. For years I have obsessed over the future. Will I pass this test? Will I be accepted to the college of my choice? Will I win States? Will I make nationals? What should I major in? What should I do for a living? Should I go to New Zealand? When should I come home from New Zealand? What if I don't have enough money? What if I make a wrong decision? The two questions I should have been asking myself is "what if I were to die tomorrow? Would I have died happy?" The answer before, would have been "no" for one big reason: Because I was so constantly worried about the future, I was not allowing myself to enjoy my current position in life.

Moving on. Another immense issue that has crept into my life has been my intense obsession with my past. I have been a very lucky person, I will not deny that, and I become so hung up on the fantastic things from my past, that I have a terrible time letting go of them. I would long for the little things about my home, pine away for my friends, think longingly of hometown, my college, my teams, my accomplishments and past jobs; everything that had nothing to do with Now. I should have been dwelling on the wonderful people I was meeting, the cute new place I was living, the little nooks and crannies of my new town, and the cool new sports I was trying. My need for the comfortable happiness of my past also kept me from the fantastic new present I was experiencing.

So we have the past, through which one defines oneself. We also have the future, which one is constantly focused on. There is no room left for the present. Consider this amusing concept: A person works hard to get to point A. Constantly thinking about Point A and how wonderful it will be once she arrives there. Finally, with Point A in her grasp, she expects to be happy. But she is not. Because she is already focusing on Point B. She doesn't even take the time to enjoy all the hard work that has gotten her to Point A. She just begins ot obsess over the next step in life. What good is all the crappy walking and waiting if one doesn't even enjoy the ride once one gets there?

OK, you may be asking yourself "where the hell is this girl going with all of this 'Point A, power of Now, past, present, future'" nonsense? My point, although simple, is not always obvious: we must enjoy the present. We much revel in the moments of our current life. We must stop worrying about becoming the next CEO of Chubb, the most reknowned academic in our field, the richest member of the country club, the person with the flashiest car, the couple with the perfect-looking family, the girl with the plan, the guy with all the answers. It is OK to let go of the past, remembering it when appropriate. It is also OK to rest the future on the backburner of our minds and live for the moment. So you don't know what you want to do with your life? So what? Try something different. Move somewhere new. Explore, adventure, inspire. I have already lived 22 years of my life (nearly 7 of them in a constant state of worry and remembrance) and I've personally come to the conclusion that I will not be spending the next 22 constantly worried about where I will be while only remembering where I have been.

I hope some of you can take from these ideas all that I have taken from them. Like I said, I have been happier, more energetic, more confident and mentally stronger than I have been in years--and I wish that for all of you.

Enough of the lessons. I hope the Traveling Beans of this world are doing well. Have we ever established what TYPE of beans we are other than traveling? Garbonzo, black, refried? Come to think of it, I have not had Mexican in quite some time. I could go for a good quesedilla right about now.

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