Traveling Beans

A Teacher's Small Victories

Many times that what it feels like --being on a battlefield: screaming girls with their hair puffy and bouncing everywhere as they shout out their classroom windows, stampedes running down the hall knocking me over, confusion "Teacher nice to meet you! I mean, no, I love you, Teacher!!!", rebellion (not sitting or speaking when they are asked)....and I am exhasted when it is only 12 o'clock in the afternoon. Then...the quietest student comes along and shows me the back of her notebook and all the care she took in doing a random homework I threw out. The assignment: what do you want to learn about America? What do you want to learn in this class? Probably the most ambiguous question they have ever received since they are used to being lectured and told to repeat. But as I looked down on the small notebook, it's cover resembling the back pocket of a pair of jeans with "Whenever, Have a nice day!" scrawled on the front, I noticed her neat meticulous writing which gave me very clear examples of what kinds of lessons we could do. She even incorporated drama like I have been using in the class these days. The homework was so good, I asked to keep it for the weekend so I could truly plan new lessons around it.

I call it a victory, but I don't really believe the students are something to be conquered...though sometimes I have to catch myself from being a push over because all I really want is to win over their affection. There's really no need. They give their love freely. Even after the worst lesson plan ever.

So now I understand why I may have received lots of attention when I was younger in school...because I always did my homework. It's so hard not to want to favor the diligent student, even though I know the reason why other students aren't diligent isn't necessarily because they're not smart or are bad, but maybe they just have a lot goin on in there lives.

It's so difficult not to be consumed by this career or lifestyle. Here I am at my school and it is 10 pm at night. There were about 5 other teachers leaving just about 10 minutes ago. Some stay late to give students extra help studying for their Korean SATs (the students don't have the money for private academies so some teachers mentor and help when they can) others have night duty for students staying late to study. Even when I am not at school though, even when I am not in class, it is hard not to be consumed...to be worried about students who skip endless meals because they are "dieting" or hope that sick students will be able to get over their cold despite the fact that they don't arrive at home until 1 am because they must study at a private academy.

I am also always thinking of how to perfect that lesson plan....how to make it more efficient, more clear, more purposeful, more fun, more interesting, more useful. But I must remember revision is endless.

Thank you Hilary so much for your "looking back and listing" blog on Hilary Beans. I must find the time to look back and list...or breathe and look at the mountains. Even though I am getting involved as much as I can so that life doesn't pass me by here, life is starting to rush by as it consumes me.

Thank God for those small victories and for community (my community here and abroad...).

posted by jacquelina @ 10:00 PM